Messages from a Child's View of Divorce

by: Amie Greenberg, JD and Barbara Greenberg, MD

By its very nature, divorce is unpleasant. However, the manner in which you conduct the business of your divorce impacts the welfare of your children. A little boy was sitting alone with his head

down after he returned to his Mom’s home following an uncomfortable custody exchange.He was quiet and withdrawn.When his Mom asked what was wrong, the little boy replied “Every time I go back and forth from your house to Dad’s house, I feel like a ball in the middle of your game.” This personal story speaks volumes to parents.

A child’s world changes as a result of divorce.A certain amount of change and stress are inevitable.However, the stress for the children can be minimized if parents can COOPERATE, COMPROMISE AND CO-PARENT.Like the Tango, divorce takes two people working together in concert.

It’s a choice. Parents can COOPERATE; COMPROMISE and CO-PARENT in the best interest of their children or, can unfortunately go down the path of CONFLICT, CUSTODY AND COURT and the children feel like a ball caught in the middle of a game.

Marriage involves an emotional attachment.In a divorce, parents need to restructure their relationship to a business arrangement conducted for the welfare of the children.

Cooperate and make decisions because they that are right for your children, not because they are wrong for the other parent.

Co-parent.This is your family. As parents, you are in the best position to make decisions about your children.If you cannot co-parent and compromise, a third-party such as a custody evaluator or the court will make these decisions and neither parent will be happy.

Love your children more than you dislike the other parent and make decisions accordingly.

The message from A Child’s View of Divorce and the story told by the children in the books, Julianna and Nick, is for parents to handle their divorce with respect, cooperation and civility to protect their children.

Amie Greenberg, JD, MBA and her mother Barbara Greenberg, MD, authored "I Am Divorced … But I’m Still Me” books after personally and professionally experiencing the impact of divorce. They recognized a need to acknowledge how children viewed their world before, during and after divorce. Their hope is to help other families who are going through the pain of divorce. Amie and Barbara write for HopeAfterDivorce.org, FamilyShare.com, and LAFamily.com. You can contact Amie for legal services at http://www.Libertaslaw.com. Follow her on FB at http://tinyurl.com/buwe2gk, http://tinyurl.com/bodu2b2 and Twitter @4childofdivorce

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